Bali Highs & Lows

I almost faced up to 5 years imprisonment/fined 5,000$ for losing my Indonesian departure card today!    Boarding the  plane earlier, we were wrongly accused of  "over staying" on our visas, and sent to a dark room full of "crooked ass" cops. After watching the police first bang their fat fingers on a calculator, assessing that we had  not overstayed; I realized that I  had foolishly lost my departure card!  The "alpha" cop grinned at his comrades and with quaking nervous lips spluttered,  "how much can you give me? I know my boss, and if i call him, he will make you pay 5,000$. me, i only  charge you 100$!  I think you are on holiday and have lots of money? No good if my boss knows"..  (side note: The "law" was in his early twenties, and kept sweating with the terrified expression of someone who was clearly in "virgin territory".  It slayed me at how obviously new he was to the "corruption arena", and how desperate he was to make his "first kill".  Each time his dainty lips quivered, I wanted to shove a large banana down his bitchlike throat and shriek," take that, take that, puff daddy!". He was so laughably insecure in his assertion of corruption, that you almost sympathetically WaNTED to give him all your money!  All I am saying is that if this imbecile had owned a hotel,  he would have ended up paying US to stay there, AND GIVEN US FREE BREaKFaST!!!!)  Anyways, just as the guard was working up a sweat, another tourist being led into the dark interrogation room FaINTED IN THE DOORWaY SEIzING !!!!  I SWEar on MY MOTHER and TO GOD, HE JUST LaYED THERE in THE DOORFRAME,& i THOUGHT HE HaD Dropped DEaD!!!! Discombobulated, the tourist stumbled awake and was led to a black couch directly across from us.  As he began shaking and vomiting pink liquid, the corrupt cop continued to harass us for payment. Oblivious to the guttural noises coming out of heaving tourist, the policeman meekly threatened life imprisonment as me and joe "tag teamed" him with countless excuses and apologies. Moments later, the cop's"minions" caused a commotion and quickly signaled to our negotiator that the "boss" was coming to collect the seizing tourist.   Clearly horrified of his direct administrator, the asshole let us go for 27 Malaysian Ringit (27$), 5 packs of Joe's duty free cigarettes, and the promise of paying back the remainder of our bill upon our next visit to Lombok. Fml, I owe 73$!  NEWSFLaSH:  can you imagine if I had  been sent to prison, how awkward joe would have felt when asked,"so why did you and liz break up?" TaLK aBOUT BaGGaGE! 

Question:  Would my being in the "can" lead to a tearful end to our relationship???  OR, would it work wonders in invigorating his natural male predatory instinct to "chase"?? These are the questions I will never know the answers to, and that hurts me.