Sunday, January 6, 2013

night riding in vietnam

Took what they advertised to be a 14 hour journey ( which turned into 18 hours) on our first double decker sleeper bus. The bunk beds were like little coffins/ capsules wherein you slid your legs into a plastic enclosure ..it would have suited dwarfs like myself, and all other Asians. (5'2 & under) perfectly...... Poor 6"" joe had to lay his legs on top of the enclosure because they were too long/ couldn't fit ( envision the scene when Cinderella's sister tries to shove her oversized foot into the glass slipper) while I may or may not have yelled at fellow loud drunk Russian passengers ( at 4 am) to ,"shut up", after sitting up in my bunk and asking them," what is wrong with you?!?" ..... Damn the ussr, everyone know the two things I hate most in this world are racists and Russians... Sometimes I wish I would have spent less time watching "Pretty Woman" on a perpetual loop at my Grandma's house as a 7 year old.  Considering that the first time my Step Mother asked me conversationally what I wanted to be when I grew up, I lazily replied , "a prostitute",  could have sent a message that MAYBEE IT WAS TIME FOR DADDY TO PUT ON CARTOONS  IN ORDER TO TURN ME BACK INTO A SMALL CHILD WHO WAS CAPABLE OF MAKING GREAT FIRST IMPRESSIONS?  Maybe I wouldn't be such a racist, if I had spent more time watching, "rocky and bullwinkle" DAAAAAAAAD???!!!!!!.  

- 3 days later, I had the pleasure of staring at a disco, blinking, neon nazi/ Tibetan good luck charm the last 16hours on a sleeping bus.   FYI- pretty sure the man seated across from me was a "lunger" and sharing our long distance bus journey in order to say goodby to his entire family. FaCT- he was ten min away from dying from acute tuberculoses, and deff carried a green plastic spittle bag, which he generously filled, emptied, and refilled after rest stops.... There was one tv on board, and after the driver took one look at my boyfriend ( for the sake of the story I will now refer to him plainly as " sly" ) and put on the film" the expendables". The driver's hype man then grabbed the girth of sly's arms and in obvious approval lifted his limbs high in the air for the remainder of the passengers to see while pointing at the screen). ... Tired !

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