Sunday, January 4, 2015

Banana Porn and Arm Slings


Monday- Sitting in the government hospital's (endlessly long) waiting room, watching a Russian harass the "receptionist nurse " for the location of his Thai wife. "SHE HAD HAD PLASTIC DEVELOP ON HER NOSE! DO YOU KNOWING WHERE SHE IS??" .....
The "receptionist nurse" has already turned him away twice, explaining that Government hospitals are not typically "famous" for plastic surgery (but he still sits patiently... 45 min so far).
My 2015 ny reso- 2 get plastic surgery in a third world gov hospital (in hopes of becoming the star of "Botched"/ episode 243)....Better yet, pshhh, I'll START MY OWN PRACTICE ! Give these batik sarong'd ladies, seated neatly in yellow plastic chairs what they TRUELY need & deserve .....MASSIVE TITS!


Monday/ still at Government hospital- At government hospital :
17 year old Dr. w/ severe acne prescribes me hydro c for a fractured collarbone. I take my script 2 the onsite pharmacy, and am given a bottle of cough medicine....(insert,"I can't even").
The pharmacist HATES ME for correcting the mistake, and asks me (while I am holding my arm in pain) if I "am sure that I don't have a cough?"....(insert: "I can't even")

Tuesday- My Thai community cannot handle the sight of my arm sling. 

The Ranong Burmese builder's wife, who I let bathe in my house (versus having her continuously apologize for "using our complex's hose, (as she bashfully adjusts her sarong, squatted in the middle of our communities "very" public parking lot) brought me a "PORNOGRAPHICALLY SIZED" BANANA and instant coffee today. She is my new best friend, refuses to ever sit on my couch, and HATES ALL WESTERN FOOD (saying all "white food" is "aRoy bahn bahn" / "tasty only for a farmer"). 


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