This week, The chin strap on my motorcycle helmet is not only giving me tmg, but is also bringing back vivid childhood memories of being forced to wear headgear at slumber parties. Felt both colonial and lazy last night when I boiled water for a shower because I can't be bothered to buy a 75$ water heater.... Boiling water has apparently become my penance for sloth- like behavior.
One month ago I was technically an illegal alien living in Thailand... I have decided that it is best I begin my career harvesting rice in the paddy fields (or whatever Is the equivalent to the fruit picking illegals in the u. S). While driving on my bike to immigration, i decided to love the dogs sitting on the side of the Thailand highways. They squat, facing traffic in the middle of the road as if they have set their alarm clocks to wake up early in order play chicken with the oncoming vehicles. I'm headed toward one mut this a.m going 80k's, honking my horn and he's looking @ me like, "YOU MOVE!!!!!!!!!"
the school had , " international day" . It was a grand success despite the fact the the loud speakers rang out nelly, Rihanna, and my personal
One month ago I was technically an illegal alien living in Thailand... I have decided that it is best I begin my career harvesting rice in the paddy fields (or whatever Is the equivalent to the fruit picking illegals in the u. S). While driving on my bike to immigration, i decided to love the dogs sitting on the side of the Thailand highways. They squat, facing traffic in the middle of the road as if they have set their alarm clocks to wake up early in order play chicken with the oncoming vehicles. I'm headed toward one mut this a.m going 80k's, honking my horn and he's looking @ me like, "YOU MOVE!!!!!!!!!"
favorite, madonnas," Like a virgin". On tuesday, Yada, the 7 year old terror was instructed to write her Australian pen pal today. When stumped for conversation topics, I encouraged the class to ask their new friends about pets, and tell them about their own furry creatures. Here is my students entire letter -"Dear Joe, I have one dog. It is dead. I have one cat, it is dead by car!, write me back, Yada”. This is not as charming as the love letter i recently retrieved out of the classrooms trash can, "Once there was a beautiful woman named Teacher Elizabeth. She had long hair and a blonde dress. One day a man named Peter saw her and he wanted to give her chicken and take her to holiday for swim and enjoy. Sometime Peter like the kiss from Teacher Elizabeth on her belly" The next day I lectured the class on the term and definition for the word “inappropriate” after explaining that if they would like to write me letters they should put them on my desk. This developed into my students newest OBSESSION. Leaving random notes at my desk or in my purse, I counted in an unsettling 32 notes, one of which had a picture of a horse that read, "GRACE LIKE HORSE!~ GRACE LIKE COOOKIE!!! TEACHER, YOU LIKE COOKIE HORSE? "
Sure the English has room to grow, but at least they are not as spoiled as the swim school children that I taught in Orange County during my senior year in college. Once, A man brought in his 5 year old twins in for lessons that costed a fortune and directed me using finger quotes to show them how they "would be swimming" in the future, if they ever “chose that path”. Wearing the assigned uniform of a hot pink bathing suit and matching princess tiara, I asked, “" wait sir, so u want to pay me 45$ an hour to teach your kids to swim, and u don't want them to get into the water???"
" precisely right"! he pronounced. I proceeded to float on my back, blow bubbles, push off of the wall and flutter kick like an asshole, as his ruined kids splashed water on me with their poolside dangling toes.
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